The God Of My Existence

So it’s new years eve, where had the year gone!? This morning my sister called me and ask “so how was your year, what have you done this year, did you accomplish what you wanted to?” I didn’t hesitate to think but answered that it was a harsh year, nothing much happened to distinguish it from any other; it was meh. 

Oh how wrong I was! She told me, go think about it and I’ll call you latter on to ask you again. Well I did. I sat down and thought, it’s a new year coming upon us and what have I done? Then all of a sudden things I did this year started popping out, things I completely forgot I did, and saw… these weren’t little things, but rather grand that I completely forgot!
From the very beginning of the year I turned 21 years old – a feat of its own! Then I went to concerts the first being Newsboys and Lincoln Brewster, then Michael W. Smith, and latter on 3 Hillsong concerts (with 3 tapings of Joyce Meyers), and Finally a Hillsong youth concert with David Crowder Band! Heck that on its own is a lot of concerts! In Februarys I went to the Olympics in Vancouver! I saw my home country (Belarus woo!) play one of my favorite teams (Sweden) in Hockey (my fav. sport) with some of my best’s friends. In April I would finish my 3ed year in university, no small feat either. I would also go to Cali and spend time with my brother shadowing him in the hospital and my sister (I love my family with all my heart) plus went on a cruise to Mexico with my other sister and Mom. After the cruise and California I went to Toronto and spent the summer with my mommy dearest studying for the wrenched MCAT. I met people I would eventually lead to a relationship with Christ and finally would write the MCAT (hardest exam EVER) but what an accomplishment!
Upon writing the MCAT I left on a road trip through the states to Alberta then got on a plane and set off for Beijing again with some of my closest friends. From there I would later go on to Tibet, Nepal, and India, getting a foot away from the Dalai Lama himself before heading back to Alberta and school.
I made friends for life, got a beautiful girl to go out with me :), joined teams (rugby) that I never would have thought, and ministries that would be empowering (prison ministries). I learnt valuable lessons about Christ, my strengths and weakness and journey in my Christian life. I spent wonderful time with my family and accomplished my goal yet again for reading the bible in a year. I had different jobs throughout the year in construction work, tutoring, teacher assistant, mentoring and I got a new car (while selling my old car which was also my first – a ’94 BMW 318is). And finally topped it of with one last trip with my brother to Vancouver yet again.
I can’t complain, it’s been a wonderful year! Sure there are always ups and downs but when we actually think about our accomplishments, we do a lot! I think people like me are far to negative, and unappreciative of the blessing we receive!!! I feel embarrassed and ashamed. I hope we all can sit back and reflect at what we have done to make ourselves better, our life enjoyable and how we may have blessed other – and if we haven’t done that then maybe we should start tomorrow. My earnest prayer is to start appreciating every blessing provided, only then would I and everyone else consider the bigger picture and work towards making our lives better and those around us, not living with regret but with appreciation, joyfulness, happiness and blessing :).
God bless us all and Happy New Years!! :)

Today I have finished reading Bonhoeffer, a book unlike any other. Before I began I knew virtually nothing about him, but upon finishing I feel as if he was a close friend, a dear brother to me. Though I knew what the outcome of the end of the book (and his life) would be – his execution in a concentration camp - the nearer I got to the end I kept on hoping maybe there is a way he would live, maybe, maybe… But unfortunately it is now 66 years to late to do anything about the outcome. What a wonderful book to stir up some thoughts, dig further into ones own Christian living.
None could deny the kind of man Bonhoeffer was, even the concentration camp doctor writing about his last moments on earth said: “I have hardly ever seen a man die so entirely submissive to the will of God.” I have to say Bonhoeffer pushes me to become a better Christian and to live a more Christ centered life, I didn’t think I needed a wake up call and I didn’t think this is the book to give me it but I got it. I wish on the day I die I can mutter those same words are were Bonhoeffer’s last
“this is the end…for me the beginning of life.”

Listening to a song today I came across these lyrics
“there are just two kinds of people, ones who say your just not able and the one’s who change the world”.
Makes me think of the person I was, I am and hope to become. I was always told by teachers and others I would never be able to achieve much… and here I am 4th year pre-med ready to graduate. Yet now I still limit myself with a mentality that oh that’s to hard, or oh I am not able to at this point in my life, but if anything after dwelling on those lyrics I see how wrong I am. Life should be taken by the horns - we might not be able to do the task but God won’t let us fail, He never does… and if we do, well all we did was prepare our self better for what is still to come. Nothing is ever lost, no experience wasted, no such thing as a dumb or hopeless dream… with God.

- Dear God, help us realize our dependence on You always and the mighty strength you give us that yet even though we don’t even know how we will or how we will be able to, we would do grand things. Help us dream big - the impossible, and have no doubt that we can (and will) achieve it. But never, never may we lose our dependence on You.

Most people never noticed this, neither did I until I found out about it today but for a brief time after September 11, 2001, all sporting events, comedy shows and commercials disappeared from television. The huge industry that entertains us and tempts us to indulge in material and world things, it self had to confront the reality of its irrelevance in the time of a tragedy. Instead spontaneously people turned to church for comfort. In those next few week church attendance went up by 25 percent!! Until the industries cranked up again and reclaimed our attention.
Sad but true.